Anonymous asked: So My grandmother is Korean and my mother is half Korean half black, and we visit Korea every year At home we speak korean, and I've said Korea about fifty million times now.(sorry!) I have curly hair and stuff and asian eyes but like standard black girl skin and it's hard for me to make friends that are black because theres such a cultural difference. Has that ever happened to you? if so what should I do, i feel like it don't know the "black" side of me at all?
I would take a step back and look at things in prospective. You describe yourself as a person of African descent who is atypical of what is usually thought of as “black”. There are many people of African descent who are atypical of what is thought of as “black” or even black or African culture. Likewise, many Africans are vastly culturally different than African-Americans. You didn’t say where you’re from, and I’m just assuming you’re American, but I would assume that’s true for any black population of any non-African country.
I understand your dilemma of feeling different from other black people or not knowing where you fit in. It’s a sentiment shared by many mixed race people who often feel culturally different than their parents’ cultures. But understand that you are not alone in that feeling, and that said, there are probably other people of African descent that you could relate to.
Don’t worry so much about trying to fit in with black people. Just make friends normally. In today’s multicultural society, I’m sure you can find someone who identifies as black or mixed race with whom you’ll fit in. In the meantime, you could help yourself understand black cultures better by reading up on history, and social issues that blacks encounter. I bet you’ll find you relate to a lot of these things. Where is the black side of your family from? Are they North American? Are they Jamaican? Or Haitian? Whatever that culture is, you learn about it independently. Read works by black authors, find blogs that talk about black issues. That’s one way to learn about your culture and learn how you fit in.
Likewise, seek out other multiracial people of African descent, and see how they deal with these kinds of things. We all have our own experiences, in our case, of not feeling black enough, not feeling Asian enough, feeling like we don’t fit in culturally.
I know that I have felt like an outsider in certain situations. When I was younger, it would hurt my feelings when black kids teased me for having lighter skin, and looking different, and when they said that I didn’t “act black.” But as I got older, and I knew who I was, that type of talk pretty much stopped, because I owned who I am, and people respect that. I also think that as you get older, some things that mattered a lot when you were young seem to matter less. I don’t feel like an outsider anymore, on the Asian side or the black side, because I know where I belong. I know who I am, and I recognize where I’m different, but I don’t take that to mean something bad, or assume that someone won’t like me because of it. Likewise, I accept the ways people are different from me, and celebrate that, as well. Our differences make humanity interesting.
I suspect that black people will accept you just fine, even if you don’t relate to them culturally. Remember that “black people” aren’t a collective with no individuality. You might meet somebody who thinks you’re weird because you’re “too Asian”, but you might meet somebody who is black who relates more to the things you relate to.